John Steinbeck once wrote: 'Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass." Looks like it has been a while since I last publish a post. Been busy preparing for my upcoming finals in about the next coming two weeks. Frustrations are running wild.
I guess the reason why I went on hiatus was because I was having troubles trying to control my emotions. I felt like if I were to blog about something, tons of things that I had suppressed for a good reason would have been blown out of proportions. It ain’t easy going around pretending like nothing happened. The only solution is to talk less, though that’s what I thought.
Sometimes I wondered if I was diagnosed with bipolar or something. Fluctuating mood swings, blehh. So yeah, I recently caught upon a trailer roaming by the sideline, it was an old movie, “Cruel Intentions”. Seems like a pretty good movie, probably gonna watch it after my finals. Though one quote from its movie caught my attention, “Enclosed is my most prized possession. My journal. For a long time I considered it my trophy. A sordid collection of my conquests. If you really want to know the truth then please read it. No more lies.” It’s just a partial of the quote. Just as “enclosed” is his most prized possession, my own journal is also my most prized possession. It’s like my entire life in there.
Though I may have stopped writing but it contains my past that I’ve yet to let go. Someday, I may let the one I love read it, or maybe not. I may just burn it away the moment I’m able to forgo my past, to let bygones be bygones. I’ve thought of making use of my journal for my little project but it’s just hard to use something so personal, to even let it out to the public, to have them pretend like they know what you’re going through, to sympathize you.
My parents till today have not gotten to see my little project because I cannot complete it. I’ve tried to put a fullstop to it, however after rounds of checks, I still found it incomplete and unreal. It doesn’t feel like me at all. More of just a make believe. I’ve so much yet I can’t pen it out on blank sheets. I don’t have the guts to do so. Shoot me.
Anyways, I should put a fullstop here. Goodnight!
Rachel. T
0 comments:
Post a Comment