What is the definition of friends? How are friends suppose to be ? How should being a friend feel ?
All these questions have been wandering around my bloody head for the past 2 weeks. I felt awful for feeling the way I felt, towards friends of mine. Sometimes I wonder, does being a friend means encouraging them to go for the best and discouraging them from falling into some deep dark shizz hole of anykind?
There's no doubt that I've tried to be the best of a friend anyone can have, but in return can anyone be that just for me? When I'm at the top, could you just be happy and proud for me? Should I have to suppress my happiness just so I don't offend you? Because I did. I tried to be understanding of your situation thus I kept that all to myself.
When I'm at the lowest period of my life, could you just shut your fly about how happy you've been and just be there to listen to mine? Because you didn't and I suppressed my dissatisfaction and put on a mask just so you didn't know I wasn't there to listen. Because It also ain't the first time you did such to me.
If you despise what I love doing with friends of mine who are on the same FM as me, then I'm sorry, you don't know me. I picked up that noble interest from them and I'm loving every single moment of it, because they brought light into my daily life.
When I wanted to do something out of the usual with my path, the first thing you said was "No, you shouldn't". I'm sorry, but that's not what I wanted to hear, that's when I needed you to be supportive of my decision, not shoot me down. I've never really gave much thought to how our friendship is, till recently. All you've done is discourage and preventing me from being the best I am and doing the best to achieve great heights with my life. All I've done is prevent you from doing ridiculous things and encourage you to look upon changing your lifestyle, if what I'm doing is wrong for you, then so be it.
I'm tired of listening to you rant about your life, BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU DO!
If I'm a terrible friend for not telling you what you're doing now is downright wrong, then you don't deserve to have me as a friend. Spare me the time I used to listen to you, so I can use it to listen to my other friends who have real problems and who atleast listen to mine at times when I need them the most.
If you're reading this, THANKS FOR BLOODY LISTENING FOR ONCE : )
"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."
- Salvador Dali
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