Surrounded by fear,
Surrounded by agony,
Surrounded by love,
Surrounded by happiness.

Having to feel all those emotions makes me alive, I feel human. I had never felt fear nor truly happiness. It was always agony and love that my family and friends allowed me to feel. I had never felt so complete. You could say that I am insane for wanting those uncalled for emotions but you will never truly live if you've never felt 'em.

I smiled when I was in agony, I smile when I was in fear, I smile when I was dissatisfied with my friends, I smiled because I was able to be affected by those emotions, by my friends, by my family. I had never been bothered about what my friends had to say about me, or basically just about anything anyway even if they're my closest. 

Ahh, like finally. I met a bunch who successfully transformed me 360. I don't feel as heartless as I was before. Ahahaha! that should be a good start, eh?

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. 

- Albert Camus

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