After a discussion that I attended a few days back, had a bona fide argument/discussion with a friend of mine. Something he said, triggered my thoughts and actions. I pondered around every night trying to comprehend one thing.
He gave me a chance to see the bigger picture of life. It made me realised that by me holding on to my past was preventing others from striving to accomplish what I've already achieved. It took me awhile to realize that I was hogging a spot, or rather someone's opportunity to shine. I should take my leave while things are still in great hands and on the run. Me, leaving, would just be a chance for them to show and attest to us that the decision and time that I took to figure my plans out was worth it all. It's time to let go. Ah, with a heavy heart, I believe my time is up.
Letting go of something that I treasured very dearly was somewhat a tough call to make. It took every ounce of effort and courage to finally say, I'm choosing to move on. To gaze beyond my capabilities, to accomplish something bigger than me. This is my future now. I may not feel it but I know I've been very fortunate. Things may not work out the way I want it to be, but in return, I was given the greatest gift that no other would trade for neither would I.
Ah, life. How I wish I could just bolt 'em out. So disheartening just thinking about it. 17 years of my blissful life couldn't even overshadow a one depressed year. Music therapy on the go. Yeahh! Time to put the records on.
Finally got the green light or rather a nod from my parents to let me pursue my driver's license. Like hell yeah! It took almost forever to have them agreed unanimously. I supposed the guilt that I had to smother for having my friends drove me around, have finally hit 'em. ahaha!
College, college, college! All my assignments are laying around the table, and I have no plans to touch them tonight. Came across my journal while clearing the mess up. The last time I recall opening my journal and pouring my heart's content was about 3 months ago. The urge to pen something is so overwhelming but yet no words could best describe my fanatical thoughts. Despite it all, I still can't unbolt my heart to share, It would be a narcissistic act of mine to burden my buds with my endless predicaments and tribulations. I love 'em too much to impose a "doom" sentence on them. I should start switching things up.
Guessed I've poured what I wanted to say today. Completed my quota for the day.
Morning!
Stand up and walk out of your history.
- Phil McGraw
- Rachel.
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