“Ever wonder how long it takes to change your life? What measure of time is enough to be life-altering? Is it four years, like high school? One year? An eight-week walking tour? Can your life change in a month, or a week, or a single day? We're always in a hurry to grow up, to go places, to get ahead... but when you're young, one hour can change everything” – Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill.
Today, after a meet up with the head of departments, I sat in the car in silence. That 30 minutes journey home got me thinking alot, about my future prospects, financial, and my parents. It’s funny you should say, I’m only 19. At this age, I should be living my youth, not having to worry about all these problems at hand. Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost that child within me. The girl that shines when she’s happy, I’ve lost her. Now all that’s in that head of mine is how to work all these out and still be able to fulfill not only mine, but my parents’ dreams and expectations. I’m not a cat with nine lives, I only get one shot at life and I want it to be perfect. Right now, here I sit waiting for an answer that I hope will change my future. Is it wrong to try to be the best for yourself? Is it a self centered act?
I never wanted to do what I’m planning to do in the near future, but sometimes circumstances forbids me to be self centered. I don’t know if one day, I’ll come to the point where I’ll say that this is the choice I’ve regret making or instead I’ll use this to change lives. My parents’ practically imprinted this into my head, so much so, I’ve lost where my real interests really lies in. There’s this saying, “ You may not like what you’re doing, but you’re just damn good at it”. At the end of the day, is it really passion for the work that you love, or is it just money and stability? I definitely do not like what I’m about to get myself into, but unfortunately I suited it perfectly like macaroni and cheese.
Ahhh! So frustrating. I shall end the agony here. Good Night.
Rachel. T
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