Finally found a perfect title. Originally titled it, Dilemma. Anyways, Time and time again, I've been left alone in the middle of two designated roads, always having to choose between which to take. I'm sick and tired of all this nonsense. Whichever road taken, neither can never satisfy anyone. One will definitely get hurt. The temptation to do it all is tremendous however If and when I do fail to succeed either one, I will fall flat and devastated. Gah! life.
Something I wrote was out in the open for many pairs of eyes to read. Suddenly, I felt vulnerable. I'm afraid they'll be able to see right through me, know me, understand me, feel for me. It became like an open book or rather "I" became an open book. It frightens me because I'm good at suppressing 'em all deep down to the core, all of a sudden I have friends whom I feel I can trust and share, starts asking me, if I'm all right? If I needed to talk? If I needed help? I panicked like a chicken. Being betrayed once was enough to last a lifetime. Ever since then, I shut my heart from people who really care. But I'm sorry, I needed to protect my heart from shattering again. With all my dilemma's and ongoing problems, I can't afford another error in my life again.
It's the most unhappy people who most fear change.
Ever noticed how my post recently are all rather depressing? Even reading it myself, shocked the hell out of me, like am I that depressed? Damn, I really need a chill pill. Life is pilling up on me. Needs a slap in the face. Sighh.
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
Hopefully my next post would be enlightening to read. H.O.P.E!
Rachel.
0 comments:
Post a Comment