Route 66

It's a new year! It's MY year!

and... it's march already.

Way to hit the first quarter this soon.


Even my "scoob" has hit a year old. Bring it on, roadtax!
Before the month even started, I'm already running to the last zero on this month's paycheck.

Oh hail, adulthood and responsibilities.

As it is, I've been writing a lot less on this pad and more on the other pad.

Thus far, focusing alot on challenges journey and well just about every other trivial matters.

Since that pad mainly runs on anonymity among 5 people, it's hard to figure who's posting what, though of course there are different styles of approach. Good for you if you're able to distinguish us apart. Yeah, as I was saying, decided to put more of my focus on that pad and building it up as it is still rather "new".

So yeah, been on a few 30 days challenges since the end of last year, going through a few life transformation in terms of health. Gotta say, it was amazing. Learning to love the idea of working out. Instilling those exercises into everyday routine. Saw the changes, drop a few pounds, lost a pant size.

A definite fulfilling start to the first quarter of the year. Hopefully, for once, I'll be able to cross this "losing weight/maintaining weight" off my imaginary bucket list for the year of 2016.

Time to say goodbye to procrastination. And Hello, life changing experiences.

Till the next update! (2nd quarter of the year?)
- Rachel.

These last couple of weeks has been chaotic for work related matters. On one hand, I welcome these challenges because it allows me to test my limits and to find ways to push myself beyond the "No, I can't do this", "No, this is not my forte." etc.

On the other hand, to a point, I'm just genuinely exhausted. With the current push for new businesses and the travels. As I'm crafting this, I'm now in Sarawak, in the middle of work at 8pm and will be for the next few days before taking a next flight out to another country the day after returning from Sarawak.

Gen Y, I am. Because after these period of work that's only going to be settled in July, I'm going to take a break. Work Hard, Rest Hard. Many may say that I'm living the life with luck in finding a corporate job but bare in mind, even if you're in luck with opportunities, but if you can't hold on to it with effort to make it work, then no matter how lucky you are, you will feel you're just unlucky because of the lack of effort to put your heart into you work.

Not saying that I fully did put my heart into it but I'm still trying to adapt to the environment especially being so green in this field. I'm trying to find the love in the work that I do to make this opportunity successful.

----
On a personal note, because I lack shame lately, I'm going to gloat about being a year older. So, thank you for the wishes should I know you ;)

Have a great one! Luck and opportunities is of what you make of it. Don't wait for them to come knocking on your door. Go and knock on theirs. Cheers!


Rachel T.

Since it's a friday and things are pretty much done at the office, at 11.25am, I thought I might as well churn out some materials for the other blog as well as do a write up here.

The doer alone learneth
- Friedrich Nietzsche

It's already April?!

Felt like just yesterday I updated this blog. Honestly, I thought the year has just begun and here we are, slowly creeping in to mid-year.

The year started out great, except for a little setback with the grandmother's admission into the big H but she's well on her way to recovery, so that's now a good news.

With that said, she is 91. A warrior that woman is. Just when we thought we'd have lost her over the pre-cny days, she came back fighting with strong vitals the next day. Now, that's my grandmother! I had so much that I wanted to write back then but I've lost that touch, bummer.

Moving on, good news just keeps on rolling. Welcomed a new born (First cousins once removed) and a new cousin brother in-law into the family. Congratulations to both happy couples! It's been a while since I felt like I was the young one of the family. It's nice to see a whole new generation growing before your eyes. How much things have changed over the last couple of years.

I am now officially mobile! Never felt better having to be able to say this. Someday, when I'm on my personal laptop, I might just show the world a picture of my "Scoob." Oh wait, it's already on my social media accounts. Heh.

Lately, I've been travelling for work purposes and honestly, it was amazing in the beginning. The ideal of everyone wanting a job that have you travel for work. It was fun, but the aftermath is just plain tiring. Not complaining. It's a whole new experience to be travelling for work and leisure. I get the opportunity to see more than just the tourist hotspots, so that's a definite plus side. Being able to see the "Wall Street" and "Downtown" of Singapore for the first time was astonishing. I found my eyes were glued to the infrastructures more so than apparels in a shopping mall. It was not as much an ideal but much more of aspirations to be something, or someone. Call it, revival/renewal of ambitions.

Excited to see what this found again passion is going to do for me in the next couple of months down the road. Hope the year's been good for you too. Till next time.

You will enrich your life immeasurably if you approach it with a sense of wonder and discovery, and always challenge yourself to try new things.   

- Nate Berkus 

The start of another new year. It always boggles my mind how fast time flies.

Procrastinated a little on writing a year end post last week, so here's one to bridge the year end and the new year.

2014. In reference to Jul, 12th's post. Update.

Graduated University with an Honours Degree.
Officially a driver without her "P".
Found a Job.
Fulfilled a wish on the invisible bucket list: Treating my one and only Grandmother to a meal with my very first paycheck. Unfortunately my maternal grandmother couldn't live long enough for me to show her my milestones and achievement thus far.

I suppose that is as much as I can top to the list in regards to that previous post.

It was a great year. Never thought I would get to see the end of University. Most would think it's a given because well, it's me. However, that's just your perception of what I had portrayed for you to see.

"Nahh, you're rachel. The one that will graduate high school, university and find a good job."
"You're ambitious, that's why."

Stereotypical. When someone says that to me, it adds on to the pressure to live up to that expectation. So far I have, up to the point of finding a "good" job.

We spend our entire life trying to figure out what to do with our life, thinking we already know what we want to do that will make us happy but that's just the hardest thing to do.

After submitting thesis, all I wanted to do was take a good long rest, away from journals, away from reality. Just a few days into it, I was already pressured to find a job. And by that, "any" job. My parents were supportive in nature but yet there are times, they are "forcing" jobs onto my plate with the notion of "Just go for the interview".

That sounds awfully preposterous to me. I don't want to just go for any interview and then decide if I want to accept the offer or not. I think my parents were throwing jobs that I was "looking" for at me thinking I wasn't actively searching for one but I did, I was just looking for the "right" one that I believe will propel me further. Needless to say, graduating with a psychology degree in Malaysia restricts us from applying for jobs that we believe suits us because employers just won't take us as they are looking for people graduating with a certain other popular degrees that will probably understand that position better than us.

After a month of searching, I found "the" job which I've been in for 2 months now. One that I was looking other than clinical options which there aren't many to begin with. I believe 2015 is going to be an exciting year filled with opportunities for growth. Intimidating as it is, but it's all about adapting, so here goes.

A family friend, an uncle told me that my "stars are aligned". True, I too see that but no matter how aligned your stars are, if you don't prove yourself worthy of it, then it will all just go to waste.

I believe in working hard for what you want, although there are times no matter how hard you work, there are just external factors that restricts you, but that doesn't mean you should falter, instead stand even taller because someday, in some strange way, you'll get yourself there in one form or another.

"New Year's Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery. Today carve out a quiet interlude for yourself in which to dream, pen in hand. Only dreams give birth to change."
- Sarah Ban Breathnach

A 6 months hiatus.

Wow. So much has happened since the last post at the end of 2013.

As I said in the previous post, this year I will not be listing goals to achieve but rather listing achievements as I progress.

Ended Thesis Part I. Began Thesis Part II.

Ended being a probational driver. Now an official driver!

Ended my very last class for this semester and for Bachelor’s Degree!


Now heading on full force with preparation for the final of final examinations and the completion of Thesis Part II in a month’s time.

By then, I will officially be a full fledge degree holder! Well, not till convocation, that is.

I really am going to miss university days.

A period where your social network is at its peak.

A period of self discovery.

A period of self enhancement.



Endless nights of sleep. I really am going to miss you too.

Deadlines. Online Discussions. Group Discussions. Running all over campus.

I believe I have learnt a lot during these past 6 months.

I have definitely matured a lot more during these 6 months.

Wow. them memories.



I will leave you all with this. Will write more about life in University after the end of Thesis II!

Till then, farewell!

“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.”

– Max Lerner

Last post for the year.

Resolutions, of which I will not make for 2014 as I did for this year. Surprisingly, the outcome exceeded my own expectations of my achievements. As I have mentioned prior, sometimes not having a plan isn’t such a terrible thing as with not setting a resolution. Personally, it allows me to explore beyond any walls and with freedom of expectations. I do not have to worry about achieving it because I did not set any goals and with that said, I achieved more that I would have ever did with goals set prior. In a nutshell, this is just my very own opinion. It is up to you to decide what you set out to do in 2014. I am only saying, take a risk. A self discovery. If I were to write a resolution, it would be to have no resolution. A walk down memory lane. Highlights of 2013 in pictures. I do believe words are not needed :)

My first emcee gig

21st

Flashmob

Roadshows

Run For Peace

World Mental Health Day Finale

Halloween

Annual Ball

Christmas Celebration

FRIM

Thank you for walking through 2013 with me.

Thank you for making 2013 a splendid year for me.

A year of self discovery.

What comes next?

No Resolutions. Just spontaneity.

Happy New Year!

- Rachel. T

Sometimes we are put in a place whereby we need to decide between what is needed and what is desired. Dilemma.

You are at the age whereby everything is now left at your hands. No parents. No family. No friends. Just you. Well, that is a little far fetch but technically it is all up to you, not them. You are the one living your life, not them. – I meant decision making if you have been misled.

People who wishes their parents would lay their hands off them – rethink.

Regardless of the dilemmas that I am facing, their reply would be,”It is your decision. You are the one that knows what is best for you. You are the one living it.” Haha. How much of the opposite for most. At times I am glad, at times I just wish someone would direct me. Tell me what I should be doing instead of leading my own path. Nevertheless, I am always thankful that they would give me a pep talk on every dilemma that I am facing, leaving only the decision making up to me.

In only 7 weeks, I have made more decisions on every details more than I ever did the last few years.

Even the thought of deciding your supervisors. Major choice, I might add. It is life or death – a year long commitment. Well, pardon the dramatics but yeah, major graduating factor. 

It is an accomplishment, in my record. Anyhow, cheers to a new semester of the final year of tertiary education.

Listening to Bee Gees at this hour is soothing. Good old days – Old soul, young age. Oh, beats me.

Rachel. T

So here I am, at 12.38am, sipping a cup of good malaysian coffee. Bad idea. Apologies on the hiatus again.

Always the tendency to get carried away with life till I forget this little pad that have served me well over the years.

Shall do a tiny little update to get this pad up and running again. Got to find some inspiration to write. So much yet so hard to construct them into words.

I have been getting ready for so many farewells to come. There goes my social network. Reducing little by little till someday, there will only be me in this bubble of mine.

Regrettably, I haven’t been able to properly express my thoughts and feelings as well as affections to some very very very close friends of mine who have been there for me through it all. Forgive me for I am lacking in the field of expressing emotions. People like me tend to distance myself when intimacy hits my “getting too close” radar.

Considering I had a securely attached childhood, or so I thought, to repel close intimacy would defy the nature of one. Though of course, I am trying hard to rectify that. I sound like the engineer of my own feelings instead of trying to overcome it with actual actions. To use the word – rectify, it did not even occur to me till I stopped to re-read what I have written prior.

Anyhow, the so called summer break had already begun 4 weeks ago and yet I have not gotten my hands on the books that I have bought early this year from Big Bad Wolf. All I have been thinking and working towards the last four weeks was all World Mental Health Day.

I wake up to it, eat to it, travel to it, live to it, sleep to it and even dream to it. I keed. I still am enjoying my minimal time that I have of the holidays and savoring it. The process is satisfying and fulfilling. Not one second of the past four weeks that I would want to take back.

Oh wells. I am off to dream of world mental health day again and I welcome it :)

Good Night.

Rachel. T

“We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.”
― J.K. Rowling

Yes, yes. It’s me becoming an Official Adult & entering the Adulthood category. Yay !

It is a day whereby you celebrate a miracle.

It is a day whereby you celebrate a new life.

It is a day whereby you thank your parents for the great life they have given you.

It is a day whereby you live like a queen (24 hours).

It is also a day to reflect upon yourself.

Therefore, in my 21 years of life, I have lived a life with no regrets.

I have lived a life filled with love and to the fullest.

I have lived a life with meaning.

I am only now at the beginning of my long awaiting journey.

I am thankful and grateful to be surrounded by a warm loving family and friends who stood by me through my ups and downs.

Here I am, stepping into a new light of being an Adult.

Though of course, I’d yet still love to feel like a child at heart ;)

Nevertheless, Thank you to awesome family and friends for showering me with love and care on this very special day ! <3

Love,

the girl who finally turned 21.

Cheers !

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”
― Albert Einstein

The phrase when you fall down, the most important is you do not admit defeat and pick yourself back up, may sound easier said than done. People always ponder on the past mistakes. The What If’s.

There’s so much bottled up over the past several weeks that it led to frequent nightmares, frequent in between wake up’s during the night, cold sweat & etc. It’s starting to take a toll on concentration and priorities.

If you’re in this line, does it mean you have to be good at keeping it in and finding ways to overcome it or to let it out and cry for help ? Like a pokerface. I am starting to wonder if I chose the right path. Everyday telling yourself in the mirror to face your fears, don’t overthink things, don’t harbor negativity & pessimism.

Tough isn’t my middle name no more. I feel like I am about to hit a brick wall soon. It’s not easy to wonder everyday and think of the possible negativity and bad news coming along with it.

I’m not giving up. I’m just losing hope and faith, not in the world but myself. Call it the Gen-Y if you will but I’m just too tired inside out to see it otherwise. Mentally, it’s exhausting and unhealthy. Just want to get this over with.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

It feels like ages since I have last posted about something, oh wait ? Maybe it really is.

5 months.

I feel like a boat without a sailor
I go where the wind blows
Just moving around like a lonesome stranger
I got no home

In search of a treasure
Some place I don’t know
It feels like forever
I’m making my way
Through the hills and deserts
I thirst for hope

I don’t know
What I’m looking for
But I’ll know
When I find it

There is a missing beat
Inside of me
The rhythm of my heart
Hits unevenly
There’s a missing piece
Inside of me

Trying to figure it out
But it amounts to nothing
I want to realize
But nothing I find
Ever feels like the real thing
Can you empathize?

I don’t know
What I’m looking for
But I’ll know
When I find it

I’m lost inside
A cold bitter world
I can’t understand the need
It’s makes it so hard to breathe

- David Choi

Got to hand it to him for a great song that speaks my life through that 5 months. There you go. Listen while reading the lyrics ! Beautiful song ;)

Oh. Happy Mother’s Day ! Thank you for 2 decades of love and more to come <3

“You've got to find yourself first. Everything else will follow.”
― Charles de Lint

Rachel. T

Though I may not be into writing resolutions, I thought just like everyone else, I should atleast write 2012 highlights that have helped me shun this supposedly “introverted” character into a rather more “extroverted” character. Writing resolutions have no meaning for me because it doesn’t function the way it does for me than it probably would for others. Instead of dwelling into trying to make it all happen, I would rather take it as it comes and note out achievements by the end of the year. An element of surprise ;)

Future Music Festival Asia 2012 with just the best companies from University! Much love.

Words cannot describe how much these people above have changed my life and perspective. Priceless. Irreplaceable.

Major respect.

Friends made along the journey

Without these six people in the above 3 pictures, I don’t think I would be where I am today. Thank you for walking through thick and thin with me throughout these few years!

Amazing friends made along the journey of university life in the above 3 pictures. Thank you for making Year 1 and early Year 2 a breeze, educating, warmth and full of joy. Much love <3

  A group of youth whom I spent the last days of 2012 with. Thank you for a great weekend of fun and laughter.

Happy New Year! and a Warm Welcome To 2013! ;)

You learn a lesson, understand its value, embrace its worth and take it beyond your wildest imagination. A lifetime resolution.

- Rachel. T

Apologies on the belated post, finally had the time since WMHD’s curtain call to sit and write this post.

Everybody has a story to tell and this is my story…

As those who have been keeping tabs on the latest news, you would have known that HELP World Mental Health Day 2012 has finally drawn its curtains on the 28th of October, 8.30pm @ The Curve! It was an incredible journey with just the greatest people that you could have ever crosspath with.
For this great experience, I’d have to thank an awesome friend of mine who introduced me to WMHD ; Christine! and from then on, the rest is history.

Starting off with the WMHD’s first hype! A time when everyone was working as one to achieve an impossible goal of reaching 1000 in just 6-7 hours, but impossible turned possible when we made it just before the day ends! :)